Vigil

My 91 year old Mother-in-law had a massive stroke last Thursday. It is difficult to see someone you love totally helpless, totally vulnerable, and incapacitated.
The vigil begins.
In the first few days she alternated between discomfort, agitation, resignation, and sleeping. Mostly sleeping. She opens her eyes and appears to be looking at you. Are they pleading?, scared?, confused?, in pain? We don't know. The neurosurgeon says there is probably no comprehension, but there appears to be some. At first she would sometimes squeeze your hand on command, . . . or was it just reflex action? She can hear sound, but it is just noise to her, . . . or is it?Brain swelling and morphine suppress her and calm her in the next few days. The eyes are now vacant and there is little or no response to stimuli. Cousin Dr. Jerry got her a very nice private room with a view. We spend much of our time here.
The Neurosurgeon says there is no hope for recovery from this bad of a stroke. Even with a living will that spells out her desire not to have her life artificially prolonged, an explicit health care power-of-attorney, and knowing her desires from conversations with her, the decisions are not easy. Exhortations by Elder Bro. Tom last year at the Goodfield Conference come to mind and are helpful. The decision the family makes is to keep her comfortable and let God take her home.
Then come the conflicting thoughts and perhaps even some guilt. Are we making the right decisions? For the right reasons? We want her to go quickly and painlessly, but is it for her sake or ours? This has become an intrusion on our busy lives. Are we being selfish? We know that she was at peace with God and her desire is to go home where her earthly bridegroom has already gone. And we know that there is a mansion prepared for her there.

There is a calm beyond life's fitful fever,
a deep repose, an everlasting rest;
Where white robed angels welcome the believer
Among the blest, among the blest.
There is a home, where all the souls deep yearnings,
and silent prayers shall be at last fulfilled;
Where strife and sorrow, murm'rings, and heart burnings
At last are stilled, at last are stilled.

We are not the only family with this experience. Thousands of others have gone through similar situations in the past and are currently experiencing them. Praying family, friends, and churches are a real blessings at these times.

Psalm 23
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.